Opinion: The ‘E’ stands for ‘entertainment’
Published: 10-11-2024 3:34 PM |
Brian Adams of Andover, Mass., is a UNH alumnus originally from Londonderry. He was previously a sketch comedy writing instructor and staff writer at ImprovBoston and a founding contributor to satirical online newspaper Recyculus. He is a father to three girls ages 6 and under.
When I was a child, I had many different visions of what my life might be like when I grew up. Maybe I would become a star on Saturday Night Live or play third base for the Red Sox or play guitar for Mötley Crüe, I thought.
In all of my dreams of what life might hold for me in the future, there wasn’t a single scenario that involved me entering into a long-term contract with Chuck E. Cheese. Yet, that’s precisely what happened last week.
This whole situation had started innocently enough. My in-laws took our kids to Chuck E. Cheese and signed us up for the Summer Fun Pass, which gave them 40 rides or games any day they showed up this summer. I thought it would take forever for my three daughters to go through that many games, but sure enough, after 45 minutes, 6-year-old Alexandra and her 2-year-old twin sisters, Hannah and Olivia, had used up all the credits.
“Maybe we need a second pass?” my wife, Kim, said aloud, barely believing her own suggestion. I was incredulous, yet it somehow seemed inevitable. Lo and behold, a second Chuck E. Cheese Summer Fun Pass was purchased. This was the beginning of my family’s relationship with Chuck.
Chuck E. Cheese (born Charles Entertainment Cheese, year unknown) often gets a bad rap. His pizza, while reasonably palatable, has sometimes been the subject of ridicule. Its most defining characteristic is that the slices are cut so narrowly that each slice more closely resembles a straight line than a triangle. It’s more of a geometric achievement than a culinary one. Yet, somehow, I found myself enjoying it.
“This pizza…isn’t bad,” I said to Kim, hesitant to share my true feelings.
“Here, try a breadstick,” she said. “They’re…not bad either.”
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“Ok, I actually like it,” I confessed.
“Me too!” Kim said, relieved.
It was only moments before this that we had sheepishly come to an agreement with each other that we were having fun playing the games at Chuck E. Cheese as well.
I started asking the kids questions like, “Can Mom and I have your cards so we can play Nerf Arcade?” or “Hey, can Dad have a turn doing the ring toss?”
All five of us seemed to enjoy Chuck E. Cheese on some level. As surprised as I was that Kim and I were enjoying it, I was more surprised that our twins kept wanting to go back. You see, they are terrified of Chuck E. Cheese himself. On any occasion that the 6-foot tall mouse mascot emerges from the back hallway to greet the children, Hannah and Olivia shriek in horror and run in the opposite direction. Yet, any time you ask them if they want to go to Chuck E. Cheese, they will run to put their shoes on so we can take them there immediately.
It’s hard for me to imagine a restaurant where I would tremble in fear at the very site of the maître d’, yet when asked where I would like to dine for my birthday, I head straight to that very restaurant. My kids clearly think the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to Chuck.
Chuck E. Cheese was certainly part of my childhood, too, but it was a very different place back then. There were no bright lights and fancy digital displays. Other than visions of wading in the godforsaken ball pit, I mostly recall crawling on my hands and knees through the Tom and Jerry-style “mouse holes” that were beneath the stage where Chuck and his animatronic band performed.
Today, it would be instantly condemned by the Board of Health and Safety, but in the 1980s, this series of playrooms, featuring 3-foot high ceilings, no designated entrance or exit, and a hundred amped-up kids, was a wonderful place for claustrophobic children to experience their first real panic attack and eat some pizza afterwards. Today, it’s a much more inviting place.
After our Summer Fun Passes had expired, it came to our attention that a new “Annual Fun Pass” would now be available.
“You know it’s only $7.99 a month if we sign up for a year?” Kim asked me.
“Oh, really?” I remarked, feigning hesitation.
I think the high score in Nerf Arcade is in serious danger.